Scars heal but they're never gonna go away

It's gonna be a strange post so those out there who won't be comfortable, don't read this.

It's a tad strange how i never seem to be able to be satisfied. Well, partly, thoroughly admitted, I have never been one who is content after reaching his aim. Perhaps, such high personal standards imposed on oneself can never be healthy?

It was the Higher Chinese Mid Year Examinations two Fridays before last. To be blatantly honest, I never thought I would have survived that arduous week. But obviously, I did. That week sure was hell for me; I had never prepared so much for a CHINESE exam after all. (you couldn't blame me, I am almost certain you never had) So predictably, I trudged off to school that Friday with high hopes that I could attain a good grade albeit graced with a touch of anxiety. So, mundane, the exam went, and before I knew it, the 4 hours of frantic scribbling were gone. But the frenzy that it left me lasted what seemed an eternity time could never hope to ravage.

It had kicked-off well, or so I thought. (In retrospect, not very well at all...) The 2 hours spent writing a formal letter as well as a reflection on a newspaper article seemed to go flawlessly. Good phrases were used, time management better than brilliant, and head clearer than one could possibly hope for. However, chinese, not being my niche very unfortunately, had took a toll on an otherwise weary me. When I was faintly aware of the horrendous grade I had acquired for my reflection (upon 70) my heart went more than a little faint. What looked like a 46 scribbled haphazardly on a corner of the page, seemed to strike painful and lasting scars in the conundrums of my heart. Indeed, naysayers may object, and proclaim (with obscene profanities spewed profusely) that my grade is better than good.

But that was pertaining, fortunately, to the composition paper only. Overall, I had achieved a grade of A2 which frankly, is quite decent. So what constituited this horribly bleak (haha) grade? My paper 1 (one cloze passage, 4 compres and 1 summary) got 86/110 which is the highest I have ever achieved in my years at RI so kudos to myself! But the composition papers were a horrible disappointment. I got 12/20 for my ying yong wen and 46, as mentioned earlier, for my reflection. So after complicated mathematical calculations, my overall grade is 72. WHICH, is not bad, admittedly.

Once you experienced failure, pick yourself up, learn and move on. There is no elevator to success, one has to take the stairs- through hard work, sheer determination and an Olympic flame for triumph. Needless to say, I have always survived such gargantuan setbacks and come back with a vigour which surprises most. This time is definitely no exception, to break down this barrier and triumph once more. However, a failure is a failure true. This defeat has taken its toll, and a great one at that. It has scarred me indeed, and true, scars heal, but they never go away. This defeat is nothing to be ashamed about. It carries with it the pride of my labour and soon, victory shall carry it too.

I'm mounting the stairs already.